i don't know what i'm doing anymore, i don't know why i'm posting this

i don't know if anyone will even read this, i just feel like vanishing, i want to stay in my bed and rot there, i'm not feeling well and i can't stop being my own enemy, i try to like myself but i just can't srry if this sounds stupid i need to vent and idk where to go to, i don't know if this ends up being my last post here or not, i can't even cry i just want to punch myself and scream all night long and just be able to sleep well tonight